We recently posted up a live video on Our Facebook Page with the title “Big Announcement” and people were making guesses before we even got to the good part. “She is pregnant!” with a reply shortly after “What? Who is pregnant?”
Of course our friends and family always ask us: “When are you guys going to have kids?” and many readers ask us “What if you have kids? How could you travel then?”
Well the truth is, at this time we have no plans to have a baby and the announcement was actually about travel! If we did decide to go down that path, it wouldn’t end our travelling lifestyle, it’s just not something we want in our lives right now.
Will We Ever Have Kids?
We have always been the type of people who live by the “never say never” philosophy, so even though we don’t see any children in our future, that could always change. Our life is an open road and we don’t allow speed bumps and stop signs to keep us from turning whichever way we please.
If we suddenly feel the overwhelming urge to have a child, then our entire minds may change suddenly and we might just go for it. It would just be another amazing adventure and one that we couldn’t possibly understand until we experienced it.
Our life is always vulnerable to massive change. Before we started travelling, we had just recently bought and furnished a condominium, thinking that would be our life plan… but things changed quickly and soon we sold everything and left on a year long trip.
We never really “planned” to teach English in China. We got the idea after volunteering in Myanmar and while we were travelling in China we just decided to answer an ad on a hostel wall and voila.
We love that our life is full of spontaneity and excitement and while a kid would require some advanced planning, we are not fully against it, but at this time we just don’t see it.
What if we did have kids? Would we still travel?
Absolutely. 100%. Our lifestyle would not change entirely just because we had a kid. I can hear the comments at the bottom of this post already. “You can’t travel with kids full-time!” “They need to go to school!”, “Children need normality and routine”, “What about their education?!”.
Those are all valid points to be made, but we strongly believe that the road is the best school for a child. Of course, people can disagree with that idea. Everyone is free to have their own opinion. Our opinion is that children learn more from cultural immersion and world exploration than they ever could from books and classrooms.
We didn’t always think this way. Before we started travelling I thought that all kids should be in front of a teacher 6 hours a day, 5 days a week. But travel has taught me something. Actually no. Amazing parents who travel with their kids have taught me something. Children can thrive in a travelling environment too.
If you follow inspiring travel blogs like TravelWithBender.com and yTravelBlog.com, you’ll start to realize that children can flourish in a nomadic lifestyle. They can stimulate parts of their brains that they would never use at home and focus on things that they are good at, rather than being forced to change from classroom to classroom, despite having obvious talent in one area.
We met a couple who currently live in Grenada, but have also lived in many different parts of the world. A kind of nomadic family. Their children were all home schooled from a young age and their oldest daughter is a testament to how amazing this can be for kids. She is bright, articulate, sociable, intelligent and incredibly mature.
If we were to have kids, they would stay on the road with us. They would of course learn the basics of math, language, science and history, but they would be encouraged to spend more time on studies that they’re passionate about.
The unschooling method is becoming more and more popular and people are finally starting to see the flaws in traditional schools. When I was a kid, I was excellent at english, photography and visual arts media (video editing), yet I spent far more time learning science, math, law, history and social studies.
Luckily, after school I eventually found my way back to my passion. I now write, take photos and create videos for a living. Had I spent twice as much time learning about those subjects in school however, I probably would have figured this all out much sooner and would likely also be much more skilled in these fields than I am today.
If we ever have kids, they will be taught on the road. They will be introduced to the world. I wouldn’t say to them: “You know that kids in Africa are very hungry and you’re not eating your vegetables”. I would show them.
I wouldn’t have to point to the Pyramids of Giza in a text-book, or teach them about Slavery in the Caribbean from documentaries and photographs, I would bring them there and be a part of the history with them, while showing them how to live their lives better in the future.
Yes… our children would be worldly and we would still travel with them. It would just be a different type of travel and a different type of adventure.
Why Don’t We Want Kids?
It’s not that we don’t like kids. I love kids.
Well… when I’m not in a shopping mall, airplane, hotel, restaurant, beach or bar with some little tyrant screaming and running around the place…
But in general, I love well behaved children.
I have 3 beautiful little nieces and while I don’t get to see them nearly enough, I love to spend time with them. They are sweethearts and they always make me smile.
When we taught English in China, no matter how tired or grumpy we may have been in the mornings, as soon as we saw our little students’ smiling faces we would smile with them. We would laugh with them, play with them and have an amazing time.
So why don’t we want kids?
Right now, we just love spending time with each other. Of course, I could never imagine the love a parent has for their child, but at this time I feel satisfied with the love that Dariece and I have for each other and I wouldn’t want to take a moment away from that.
We love spending time with our nieces. But we also love that we give them back to my brother after a day of babysitting. We love that we can always go back to peace and quiet with just each other.
We also love being able to be spontaneous, and having the freedom to do what we want… on a whim.
In Conclusion
Right now we’re just not planning to have kids. So quit asking us! haha. We love kids, we wouldn’t let having them change our lives, we believe that kids thrive on the road, but we just want to be with each other for now. Maybe this will change down the road. Maybe not.
It is kind of funny that goat offspring are called kids too. Maybe we’ll just buy a baby goat and write an article called “We had a kid!” Perhaps we’ll save that one for April 1, 2017.
What do you think? Do you want kids? Do you have kids? Would you ever travel with them full time?
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I kind of know what you mean! I love my nephews and nieces but I also love the reassurance of knowing I can hand them back!! Liking kids (the people type not the goat type!) is quite different to the onerous responsibility of them being your own!!
” Our life is an open road and we don’t allow speed bumps and stop signs to keep us from turning whichever way we please.”
This!!! And good for you!!
Additionally, I was reading your “Why don’t we want kids” section almost as if it was my own story! Although I’m probably a bit more set in my thinking about it than you guys. I don’t want kids myself – I just don’t see how they could possibly improve my life. I feel like my life is so much better without them.
I think there are pros and cons to every life choice, and if you don’t feel that you want kids, you shouldn’t! You shouldn’t have to justify or explain it to anyone (and this is coming from someone with three kids!)
I also believe 100% that travel is the best education for children and that a nomadic lifestyle can be enriching. I could go on and on about the flaws with today’s western education system!
We traveled around the world with our three children for almost a year and LOVED it. We are working on making a permanent move internationally – just trying to figure out the $$.
Keep on doing what you’re doing!
Your nieces love you too 🙂
My husband and I are both 35 and have decided not to have kids. It’s simply not something we have any desire to do and we feel it’s wrong to just do it because nearly everyone else does – plus that we need to justify our decision!
It’s part of the reason that we’re currently travelling full time. Without raising kids, there’s a lot less milestones and we didn’t want to look back in 10 years and still be at the same job, in the same house, doing the same old, same old with nothing to show. Plus, without kids we have a lot less expenses now and in the future!
Absolutely a valid choice. Society places lots of expectations on us – starting at an early age. I have two sons (18 and 20 now) that I had in my 20s, and I’m encouraging them to follow their own path in their study choices (including the choice not to study ), career and personal lives. I’ve told them they shouldn’t feel pressure to ‘settle down and have kids’ unless that’s what they really want. After all we only get one life, and if we end up living it on someone else’s terms, there’s no rewind button!
I will never understand why people think having kids is the biggest announcement you can make 🙂
My husband and I feel the exact same way! We recently got married so of course the first question out of everyone’s mouths after the wedding is “When are you planning on having kids??” People rarely ask if we’re having kids, it’s usually when. I feel like we always have to explain ourselves. Like you guys we’re not totally opposed to having kids if the desire strikes us later in life, but we’ll both be 30 this year with no kids in the foreseeable future and loving it! Thanks for sharing!
Great article. We are a traveling family with a 7 year old son. We are loving the incredible experiences we get to share as a family but there are definitely times that our options are limited. Some environments and adventures we experienced in the past would not be safe for a child.
As parents we have become better planners and better prepared for different eventualities. Our decisions are more calculated, considering the family unit as opposed to being spontaneous and impulsive. It’s not harder or less fun, it’s just different. Then there is the added bonus of getting to share our life with an incredible kid and see the world through his eyes
Loved your post. Could have been me writing this. I feel exactly the same way. I love kids but it’s nice to return them at the end of the day and have my peacefulness. My boyfriend and I have been travelling and living in different places since 10 years and always get ask the same question. Or another big question which always comes up is “Why are we not married?”
So when are you getting a goal? 😀 Hahaha! Thanks for the mention guys. We love travelling with our kids, they offer something unique to our travels that we wouldn’t otherwise have. But believe me, I have plenty of trips planned for when they are out of the house in the next 15 years lol. Can’t wait to babysit your goat for you 🙂
YES! exactly 🙂
Thanks for reading Tim 🙂 We feel like our life is awesome right now too! Cheers
Hi Gloria,
Thanks for your wonderful comment. I completely agree that travelling is the best education for kids, 100%. That’s amazing that you were able to go on a 1 year trip with 3 kids! I’m sure you had a great time 🙂 Cheers!
🙂
Very true Shandos! I think some people do these milestones because they are “supposed to”, when in reality, that’s not a good reason at all. Enjoy your full time travels!
Sounds like some solid parenting advice! Well done 🙂
haha, true!
Thanks for commenting Megan!
Thanks Bianca! As you said, it’s not better or worse travelling with a kid, it’s just different 🙂 I’m sure he’s loving life too!
LOL, that’s a whole other article…why we’re not married! haha. Thanks for commenting Jenny 🙂
As a Southern girl of a certain age (34) who has been with her husband for some time (12 years), I’m pretty used to deflecting these questions, but it never gets any less annoying. What if I had a medical condition that had prevented me from getting pregnant? What if my husband and I had already had three miscarriages like many of my friends had, and that question was the trigger that caused me to breakdown? None of that has happened to us, luckily, and we’re firmly with you in the “not now” (and probably not ever) camp, but perfect strangers can be so nosy, can’t they?
Great read! Always glad to know I’m not alone in my thoughts 😉
Thanks for the awesome comment Kristin! Glad to know there are others like us out there 😉 I find it mind boggling due to the reasons you listed as well! Some people can’t get pregnant and that’s all they want. Imagine if I were one of those women?! Crazy.
Cheers.
I’m with you guys on that one! We don’t want kids either, it’s just not something we’ve ever wanted to do.
And I don’t believe anyone should do something just because society expects you to.
Travelling long term the way we do, is alrea
dy something people deem as unconventional and I often get asked, “So when are you coming home?”. Even though I’ve been travelling for 7 years.
We often get asked when we’re having kids but sometimes we can’t mentally handle having to explain and justify our reasons. So we just say “Someday maybe”, smile, and change the subject.
It’s actually something people can be quite blunt and inconsiderate about when broaching the subject and sometimes energetic discussions about having kids, can leave us feeling exhausted and upset.
We LOVE the freedom our travel lifestyle gives us and we are often made to feel like we’re selfish for not wanting to get married and reproduce.
I wish some people would realise not everybody desires the same thing.
Sure, maybe one day we will change our minds. Haven’t so far though!
Happy travels you guys 🙂
Never fear, you *can* still travel with kids! It’s just… different. And it involves fewer cocktails at sunset. But it’s rewarding in different ways and, as I’m sure you guys know, sometimes you learn the most when you become the teacher. Traveling full-time with our kids, especially our curious 6yo, has forced us to have some important and hard conversations and to figure out age-appropriate ways to discuss some of the hardest topics in the history of the world.
i love travelling but i still hooked with my job. and every travelling i let my kids with me..
it become more interesting as kids has better way of “exploring”. believe me, you will more to write down if you have kid – tips on flight, kids interest on traveling and so many more….
i pray you will have kid and look forward to read update on travelling with kid!
Hi guys
Respect to your decision, however, I just wanted to add for everybody: travelling with a child is not so limiting as one might think. Especially if you only have one. I often travel alone with my daughter (recently we counted that at just 5 years of age she has already been to 22 countries), almost exclusively back-packing style (SE Asia, central America) or camping (NZ, parts of Europe). I often meet people who would not be able to keep up with our travelling pace, so it is not that we would miss on something – esp. in terms of sights and activities, quite the opposite, most of the days you have at least some program, because you are not going to swing in a hammock for a whole day, just because of that hangover from last night’s party… right, that is the only stuff you cannot do, but I don’t miss the cocktails and night bars. On the plus side, the child is a total ice-breaker. Local people warm up to you, open their doors. I cannot imagine travelling without her now that I have been on the road with her and soon she will be able to carry her own stuff (of course she already has a small back-pack, but it is about time to buy her a bigger one!). And here we come to another point – it will not last forever, the child grows incredibly fast, so I really want to enjoy those few more years I have left together with her, before she will want to travel with somebody else… I think about 85% of activities and programs most travelers do can be done even with a small kid and without (or with really minor) modifications. The only things she cannot do at the moment are e.g. strenuous hikes – and we are mountaineers, so no, she can’t hike for 2 weeks to 6000m (20000 ft) high peaks, but she can walk 600m (2000ft) up and down day-hike; and we cannot do adrenaline sports like white water rafting – but you can take her on a multi-day sail or paddling down some milder river; no scuba-diving – but she can snorkel already!; not yet ski-touring – but she can ski on a piste… There are some countries I prefer not to visit with her at this stage (as there might be activities we could not do at the moment and that would be a pity) – but hey, there are so many places in the world to visit, just twist your bucket list a bit and you’ll have enough to do before the kid grows up old enough to do things with you… And if you have more kids, sooner or later they grow up old enough to baby-site the younger ones – that is when even the parties can be resumed by the parents!
Good luck travelling, with or without children,
JJ
I enjoyed reading this and can relate, although we’re probably further down the path of “not having kids” than you guys are. I enjoy following your travels and am always glad to find fellow travel bloggers with similar interests/mindsets. Cheers!